"If one is gay, as am I, one is supposedly predisposed to adore figure skating."

"I missed that day at Gay High. I watch a certain amount of skating. I like that it is fast and difficult and only rotates in one direction. I love the costumes. I hate the music. Like many sports, it has become brutal and artless. The tricks are too hard to be beautiful. I used to love school figures: the endless figure-eights and edges and concentration. But that old-style skill is not interesting enough for today's television consumers."