ADDED: You know who I feel sorry for? Jewelers. Here is is, 2 days before Valentine's Day, and you know they're hoping guys will run in and pay $950 and up for something that looks like the sort of thing that might make a woman feel that he didn't fuck up. And just at that moment, the clueless males of this world are getting an insider's tip: The junk in those stores isn't worth anywhere near what you see on the price tags. Diamonds? You Valentine's Day chumps need to know there are mere industrial-type diamonds, and you have no idea what you're buying, do you?
Cookware as a Valentine's Day gift? Isn't cookware a famously bad Valentine's Day gift? I say that out loud. And Meade says: "Don't you know? Everything has flipped. It's for women to give to their men — the proud men who do all the cooking now — the proud men of true Mandom, like me and Glenn. Men, who see cookware as their tools."
***
Whatever you buy, if you don't buy it through Instapundit, please start here:
It's the Greyhouse Coffee & Supply Co. in West Lafayette — the site of the momentous second date of Althouse + Meade. We're here now, for our Valentine's Eve anniversary.
Beyond the edgy excitement, it's even more beautiful. Cozily married. A weekend in Indiana. Bliss!
I never noticed the collision of the 2 dreaded days before. But I suppose it happens ever 7 years. Did I do the math wrong? I'm sticking with my theory. So, every 7 years we get the Valentine's Day/Friday the 13th combo weekend. Note every time this happens and only when this happens, Valentine's Day falls on Saturday. That Saturdayosity magnifies the romantic dimension of Valentine's Day, so it might be a good idea, when this 7th year rolls around, to lock all your doors, dish out a big bowl of Haagen Dazs...
Because it's a risky place out there. For example, I was out driving, hundreds of miles from home on Friday the 13th, and I blithely made a right turn and drove a half a block before I saw the oncoming traffic in my lane. I quickly made another right turn at the corner, and immediately saw the police car lights in my rear view mirror. The cop — with his beautiful blue eyes — was very handsome — very heart-of-the-heartland handsome. I effused "I'm so sorry." He asked us where we were going. I didn't wisecrack, "the wrong way, apparently."
We said where we were going, and afterward, I wondered what the hell difference did it make where we were going? Nosy cop. Nosy handsome cop. Nosy adorable cop with brilliant blue eyes. I'm theorizing that he asked because the thing is to ask anything to get the driver talking so that words might be slurred, incoherence demonstrated, or alcohol smelled. It's not a speeding ticket he'd like to give me, it's a DUI. And maybe the whole point of making that street 1-way is to net drunk drivers. Why was the cop right there? I bet every 10 minutes, somebody goes the wrong way at that turn, each one a potential DUI, and that was a net that I slithered through. But maybe Mr. Handsome Blue-Eyed Cop let me off because he liked the place we said we were going. And I got lucky that way on Friday the 13th.
So, welcome to Monday. Welcome to the working week....
I told you people to be careful. I said: "If you're going to take any risks, I hope it's worth it for you." Did you take that risk? Did you make that wrong turn? And if you made the wrong turn did you get off easy and end up in the right place?
Not the worst car accident injury, though possibly the worst fingernail-breaking injury.
And so, my friends, did you survive Valentine's Day? Break any fingernails or anything? Me, I'm out here in the heartland. Wait. I have some photos. Hang on a sec.
ADDED: I wish somebody would bring her the world's largest blackboard.
Lileks tweets — referring, of course, to the Sussex spaniel that won Best in Show at the 133rd Annual Westminster Kennel Club show. A much-needed laugh for me (after doing those 2 death posts in a row).
IN THE COMMENTS: I'm not sure why this fit in the dog post, but there's a lot of talk about what Valentine present a man should get for a woman. It started when Michael H said:
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being 'Punch His Lights Out' and 10 being 'Cut Up His Clothes and Call a Junk Yard Dog Divorce Attorney', how would you rank receiving either of these gifts on Valentines Day?
A). A Vermont Teddy Bear wearing something cute.
B). A Pajama Gram.
Thanks.
AND: The ineffably adorable Psychedelic George says:
I know what women want:
a) Wool socks. Good thick wool socks. Not heavy and ugly, but cute good thick wool socks.
b) On a budget? Flannel. Otherwise—cashmere.
c) Tea. If it sounds disgusting to the male palate, she will love it. Try 'Vanilla Sleepytime."
d) A subscription to 'Oprah.'
e) All things Jane Austen.
f) Wine.
Remember what I said about the socks being cute. And wool.
ADDED: I've corrected the text above to change "Original George" to "Psychedelic George." I'd mixed up 2 of my Georges — just when I was doing my big "ineffably adorable" compliment. I hope his girlfriend doesn't think it was the other George who got her the cute wool socks. Psychedelic George has only been commenting here since February 5th — under that name at least — and he's really stood out as a great commenter. And I mean no disrespect to Original George.
MORE: I'm told Original George = Psychedelic George.
— see how cheap they are?
